A Feeling Attack

It’s happening again. It’s all coming back. What is this I’m feeling? Why is it so familiar? Don’t know if it’s welcome. Don’t know if I want it back. It feels so raw, it feels so real. Can’t hold the tears back. It’s consuming me.

The feelings grow, it washes over me. It feels so powerful, don’t know if I can handle it. It hits me like a brick. Suddenly nothing else matters. I can’t think, all I can do is feel. My vision narrows, my breath quickens. This is all I know.

I can’t think straight, will this ever end? Feelings overwhelm me, is this what I’ve been running from? It’s too much, I want it to stop. But the pain feel good, hurting is better than numb. Will it ever stop? Feels endless.

I begin to calm, thoughts become more clear. I remember where I am, who I am.

It was just another feeling attack.